—Orientation Chaos & Circle Glitches—
Tonight was meant to be about finishing the orientation call. I was polishing the final pieces, screen recording to embed inside Keynote so the whole thing would feel seamless. And then, everything started breaking.
Circle links didn’t go where they should. Key links redirected incorrectly. Buttons didn’t work. It was a mess.
And I’m grateful I caught it all. But the time and effort it took to fix these things? It stole the day.
—Bank Email: The Breakdown Trigger—
In the middle of it all, I saw an email from the bank in Dubai — the one holding funds I need. It said something about closing my account and donating the remaining balance to charity.
Before even reading properly, I lost it.
Pen had sent me a sweet note earlier, asking Mars to be kind to me. But Mars had other plans.
I erupted. Full-blown meltdown. Every suppressed emotion from childhood poured out — the F word, the C word, all the venom I’d heard from my father growing up.
It wasn’t about the money.
It was about powerlessness.
It was about safety.
It was about having my lifeline ripped away.
—Emergency Reset: Headphones, Helmets & Shaun T—
I had to move my body. I went out to get a new visor for my helmet, tried to fix the broken headphones, and eventually just bought a new pair.
Earlier I’d done legs with Shaun T. Brutal, but necessary.
Came home. Did a bit of book editing. Knew there was more to do… but I just didn’t have it in me. I needed stillness.
—The Pluto–Sun Opposition: Initiation by Breakdown—
And then I looked at the sky.
Today’s Pluto–Sun opposition made so much sense of everything.
☀️ Sun in Leo (5th house): Self-expression, creative sovereignty, joy
♇ Pluto in Aquarius (11th house): Collective systems, soul missions, community purification
This axis has always been about individual power vs collective transformation — and I felt both ripping through me today.
This wasn’t just a breakdown. It was Pluto stripping false power from my bones:
- Rage from old approval wounds
- Control patterns masked as urgency
- Identity built around being “the one who fixes things”
But as the rage burned, I saw what was underneath.
Power. Presence. Truth.
This is the death of performance.
The death of the protector.
The death of the false leader.
This is the birth of the embodied torchbearer.
—After the Storm: Anchoring Back—
Spoke to Pen.
We even managed a bit more book formatting.
Then we talked astrology, which mirrored my journey perfectly.
And as for the bank?
There may have been a misunderstanding. I’ll wait a few days to see how it plays out.
—What Comes Next—
Tomorrow: finish the first draft of the book.
Embed the orientation video in Kajabi.
Prepare for a proper rest.
Sunday–Monday, I’ll take time for myself. No work. No striving. Just being.
It feels like the end of Season One. And what a season it’s been.
