––– 23RD JULY –––
Oof. Some wild dreams last night.
I felt a real rage toward the old Earth. Aggression rising up where suppression used to live. It felt raw — almost volcanic — like something that had been buried was finally erupting.
Then came dreams of a more sexual nature. Pornographic. Intense. They nearly led to climax, but I woke up just in time and shifted my focus elsewhere. My body was still aching from the gym — more broken down than I’d realised.
Thoughts about my broken headphones resurfaced. But it wasn’t about the headphones — it was about Mars. The destructive force of the masculine. I had to breathe through it.
––– THE MESSAGE IN THE MARS –––
After rising around 6, I went into meditation.
Midway through, I had to go to the toilet — more clearing out. A full-body purge. As I sat in silence afterward, something struck me:
Venus. Hephaestus. Mars.
The love triangle that shaped the morning skies… and my inner world.
The initials VHM floated into my awareness — and then I remembered:
VH1 was the name of the music channel I worked at when I was 16.
My first-ever job. My first real-world experience.
It struck me how close VH1 is to VHM — a mirror, a whisper, a thread.
And then there’s HMV too — another music symbol, another nod from the past.
All of them, connected to sound, harmony, rhythm.
All of them, now re-emerging as archetypes in my own becoming.
Harmony. Melody. Vibration. The divine score of soul initiation.
It’s strange, beautiful, and synchronistic.
The trinity of love, craftsmanship, and destruction — all composing melodies in the symphony of my becoming.
I choose to honour the VHM within me, just as I do the SHM.
To navigate the inner wars not by suppressing them, but by tuning them back to harmony.
––– WHAT’S NEXT –––
Today, I’ll focus on finishing the orientation call slides — getting everything ready for tomorrow’s presentation. No perfectionism. Just alignment.
I also need to:
- Head to the gym (gently)
- Visit the doctor for my back
- See if I can fix my helmet
- Possibly replace the headphones — at least temporarily
There’s movement today — but with intention.
I’ll let Mars move through me, but I’ll channel him through melody.
––– THE CRACK BETWEEN FIRE AND STILLNESS –––
After yesterday’s explosion of sacred fire — headphones snapped, helmet cracked, rage unleashed — today opened with stillness. A strange peace.
I still woke before dawn, but there was a new kind of alertness. Not the pressure to move. Just a quiet readiness.
I began the morning slow, observing what was left after the fire. It wasn’t destruction. It was refinement.
The memory of Venus, Mars, and Hephaestus remained in my chest. Their triangle no longer felt like betrayal, but design. A force field of power, desire, and divine labor. Something is being reforged inside me.
Today, I just let it be.
I cleaned the room, cooked, made tea, added notes to the site. Worked on the trailer edit. Spoke briefly with the doctor. It all moved with its own rhythm. I didn’t push. I didn’t rush.
And then I sat. I asked the cards.
Here’s what they revealed.
– What sacred force is my anger trying to awaken?
– How is my rage inviting me back into right relationship with power?
🜂 Card: The High Priestess
Your anger is a veil. Beneath it lies a potent inner knowing — the sacred feminine intelligence that’s long been silenced. This rage is not chaos; it’s the fierce whisper of the High Priestess reminding you of what you already know but have been afraid to trust. Rage invites you to reclaim intuitive power without apology. Right relationship begins when you honour your knowing as holy, even when it burns.
– Where have I betrayed myself in order to belong?
– What part of me still softens truth to stay acceptable?
🜂 Card: The Devil
This card reveals the contracts you’ve signed in secret — the ways you’ve distorted your truth for comfort, approval, or safety. There’s a mask you’re still wearing for the sake of fitting in, and it’s costing you clarity. The Devil doesn’t accuse — it exposes. You’ve softened your edges in rooms that couldn’t hold your fire. Now it’s time to reclaim them.
– What does sacred masculinity look like when it’s no longer performing?
– Where can I let fire lead with devotion, not destruction?
🜂 Card: Five of Swords
Here is the echo of performance: fighting to be seen, to be right, to be dominant. But this card shows the aftermath — a hollow victory. Sacred masculinity doesn’t need to win. It leads with integrity, not domination. Devoted fire walks away from fights that dishonour its flame. You’re being asked to discern: is this a true battle, or just an old performance seeking applause?
– What must break in order for something real to emerge?
– Which structures are keeping me from my own essence?
🜂 Card: Six of Swords
The structure that must break is the bridge back. You keep returning to what no longer fits. This card is the quiet choice to leave — not in rage, but in release. The breaking is subtle: it’s the moment you stop explaining yourself, stop returning the call, stop justifying the weight. What emerges is not what was planned — it’s what was waiting once you let go of who you had to be.
– How do Venus, Mars, and Hephaestus live within me now?
– What part of me needs to be reforged, not rejected?
🜂 Card: The Lovers
All three archetypes live in you as a sacred union, not a war. The part that needs reforging is your perception of separation — the false belief that you must choose between love, passion, and purpose. The Lovers remind you: integration is the alchemy. You’re not here to exile any aspect of yourself — only to let them meet in truth and become whole.
– What is my relationship to ‘not being fixed’?
– Where do I still equate brokenness with failure?
🜂 Card: The Chariot
You move fast to avoid the discomfort of being “unresolved.” But the Chariot says: power doesn’t come from fixing — it comes from motion through paradox. Let your brokenness ride with you. You don’t need to delay the journey until you’re perfect. Victory isn’t clean — it’s aligned. Keep going. The pieces will arrange themselves in motion.
– What does it mean to burn clean?
– What illusions still feed on my shame?
🜂 Card: Seven of Wands (Reversed)
Burning clean means dropping the need to defend your worth. This reversal shows how much energy is still being spent fending off ghosts of shame. Illusions feed when you try to “prove” you’re healed, holy, or good. Clean fire doesn’t perform — it just is. Burn the illusion that you must fight for your sacredness. It was never in question.
With Love and honour
The New Earth
