“The Mountain and the Molehill” Journal entry 3rd July (written 4th July morning)

I woke up feeling like there wasn’t much left to do. I had told myself the cleanse course was ready, edited and complete — that people could now begin going through it. But the idle space that followed brought discomfort. I opened up my Penzu journals, the ones from last year, and started organizing them properly. I’d already paid for Acrobat and the PDFs, but they weren’t in order. So I went back to the raw entries directly on Penzu and began sifting through them. Surprisingly, what I needed was already there. Slowly, the mountain I’d built in my mind became a molehill.

I reviewed channeling notes I’d previously sent to Pen and realized half of them were missing. I condensed and updated them. I formatted journal entries so they could be used in the book. One memory at a time, one edit at a time — they began to weave themselves into something whole. I was glad I had the morning to dive in. I’ve realized an idle mind is a dangerous place. That’s when old wounds surface — and with Chiron in my 7th house, the wound is around relationships, equality, being seen, being valued. That’s the very void that gave birth to this work.

That’s why the New Earth is donation-based. The currency is transformation. The offering is truth. It’s not about how much someone gives — but that they show up and walk it.

Still, I noticed how much I crave recognition from others. I sent the course out to a few people and heard nothing back. That familiar feeling arose: people don’t see me, they don’t understand what I’ve sacrificed. But I’m not a victim. I chose this. I chose planetary service.

I messaged a friend, not to blame, but to keep my heart open, as he hadn’t replied to an earlier message or two. He replied to say his mother was unwell. And I felt like a small person for taking it personally. But I understand myself better now. I reach out for love when I feel most vulnerable, when others can’t give it. That wound comes from my mother’s death when I was nine.

I also reached out to Rhoda and Zelkhia in South Africa. Rhoda’s unwell. They didn’t reply — and again I felt that sting of abandonment. My default is to send long, emotional messages. But I’m trying to find balance: not suppressing, not overreaching. Just being honest.

I also realized that I had sent someone else a strong message — someone I’d coached, who didn’t reply. He finally responded today, and his words revealed just how lost he’d been. So I replied with love. That’s all I can do now. I just care.

The truth is, most people don’t belong to themselves. They’re hijacked by pain, patterns, parasites. My job is to keep creating, keep serving.

And today, I remembered that. I remembered Mischief, my first company. Dubai. Everything I’ve lived. And I saw — I’ve done that path. Now it’s time to walk this one. New Earth. Planetary service.

As I saw more people register, I opened one of the videos again — and I saw a mistake. Then I saw another. And suddenly I realized: I need to go back. I need to re-edit every video. Lift them. Make them worthy of what this is. A spiritual, cinematic retreat. So now, from having nothing to do, I suddenly have at least another week’s worth of deep editing ahead. Maybe more. But that’s okay.

I had a beautiful call with Pen later that night. She had just been visiting her father. I had to consciously put aside the “work” to be present with her. We held space. We read tarot through AI. We walked this path together.

Then I replied to a few more messages, even though I knew it was pulling me from work again. I realise I’ve cut myself off from social media, but I may also need to cut off my phone soon — or delegate it entirely. We’ll see. For now, I’m in the work. And that’s enough.

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