—28th August morning reflection—
The Heavy Morning
I woke heavy today. Thoughts leaping, tears rising. My lower back still twinges. I journaled through tears — speaking loss into being. I had such an opportunity once: a family, a community. I couldn’t fully appreciate it, and now it’s gone. The grief comes in waves. Sometimes I handle it well. Today, it broke me open.
Dreams of Pursuit
The night left me with fragments — water pistol fights with faces from the Old Earth, eerie rooms, protectors-turned-pursuers, crashing planes, and strange toasts to the dead. Dreams echo loss and pursuit, chaos and survival. They mirror the stripping of what no longer serves, showing the edges of my subconscious.
The Weight of Stripping
Perhaps it’s Pluto — stripping illusions away. Pain rises when the false must fall. It feels unbearable at times, yet the truth is clear: this is part of the passage. Old Earth attachments — to family, to legacy, to comfort — dissolve. What remains is raw, sometimes overwhelming, but closer to the bone of truth.
The Practice of Trust
Even in this weight, I remember: emotions come and go. Rain falls outside. Financial matters wait to be handled. The world presses on. The practice is trust. Not to numb, not to escape, but to stay with it — even when broken, even when lost.
I may need to step outside today, to breathe, to be with others. Healing is not isolation. Presence shared is medicine too.
Closing Note
This morning is one of the hardest. Tears, pain, loss. Yet Pluto’s stripping brings clarity. The New Earth is not built on holding illusions, but on letting them be stripped — until what remains is only truth.
—Tarot pull —
1. Body as Teacher — Two of Wands
- Main Question: What is my body revealing through primal reactions and pain during this time?
- Answer: The Two of Wands shows your body is revealing a threshold moment — standing between what has been and what could be. The primal serpent-like reaction in your spine is not random; it’s a signpost pointing you toward a new direction in healing. Your body is asking you to look outward, to prepare for a larger path of service. The pain isn’t just pain — it’s initiation.
- Sub-Question: How do I trust these signals as guidance on the New Earth path rather than as burdens?
- Answer: By viewing them as invitations to expand, not punishments. The Two of Wands reminds you that choice is in your hands — trust these signals as compasses, guiding you to learn the body’s deeper language so you can carry healing for others.
2. Overwhelm and Preparation — The Magician
- Main Question: How can I face the weight of preparation without being consumed by overwhelm?
- Answer: The Magician speaks of resourcefulness. You already have the tools — spiritual, emotional, practical. The overwhelm arises when you forget this. Preparation is not meant to crush you but to remind you of your capacity to weave vision into form. The energy of mastery is already within you.
- Sub-Question: Where can I release control and let flow carry what I cannot manage alone?
- Answer: The Magician shows: release the need to hold every tool at once. Focus on one element at a time — earth, air, fire, water — and trust the current will carry the rest. Flow comes when you channel energy, not when you grasp at it.
3. Community and Connection — Ten of Wands
- Main Question: What role does community and shared presence play in my healing and forward movement?
- Answer: The Ten of Wands reflects the burden of carrying too much alone. Community lightens the load. Shared presence — Pete’s family, Lily, your therapist, your team — reminds you that you don’t need to shoulder everything by yourself. Others can hold part of the weight.
- Sub-Question: How do I remain open to authentic connections without slipping back into Old Earth patterns of attachment?
- Answer: By practicing discernment: carrying what is yours to carry, and letting others hold their share. The Ten of Wands warns of entanglement if you take on too much — let community be a support, not another burden.
4. Pluto’s Stripping — Three of Swords
- Main Question: What is Pluto asking me to release in this season of grief and loss?
- Answer: The Three of Swords cuts to the heart: Pluto is asking you to release illusions around family, legacy, and the pain of “what could have been.” This grief is not punishment; it is the sacred stripping that reveals truth beneath heartbreak.
- Sub-Question: How do I stay steady when joy feels followed by the pull of old patterns and pain?
- Answer: The Three of Swords teaches that pain is temporary but truth remains. Steadiness comes not by avoiding the heartbreak, but by allowing it to clear illusions so that joy, when it returns, is rooted in something real.
5. Dreams and the Subconscious — The Star reversed
- Main Question: What are my dreams showing me about pursuit, survival, and sabotage in my unconscious?
- Answer: The Star reversed reveals disconnection — dreams are showing you the parts of self that feel cut off from hope, trapped in cycles of pursuit and survival. The protectors-turned-pursuers, crashing planes — they are reflections of where despair and sabotage still live within.
- Sub-Question: How do I translate these dream messages into conscious choice and clarity?
- Answer: By flipping the Star upright — bringing faith back into your waking life. Journal them, name the patterns, but don’t cling to them. See them as the subconscious clearing space, pointing you back to alignment with hope and trust.
6. Legacy and Letting Go — Four of Swords
- Main Question: What does legacy mean for me on the New Earth path?
- Answer: The Four of Swords suggests legacy is not built by striving but by rest, integration, and stillness. Your legacy is not a monument; it is the presence you leave in others when you are authentic and at peace.
- Sub-Question: How do I release clinging to legacy as an illusion and root myself in presence instead?
- Answer: By entering the sacred pause. The Four of Swords reminds you that presence itself is the offering. Rest, heal, and let the seeds of legacy plant themselves through the rhythm of your being.
7. Path of Healing — Death / Rebirth
- Main Question: How do I walk the talk — embodying healing, truth, and service — rather than just speaking of it?
- Answer: Death / Rebirth is the ultimate call. You embody healing by letting the old die — the Old Earth, the old stories, the false protections — and stepping into rebirth with courage. This is not theory; it is daily death to illusion and daily rebirth into authenticity.
- Sub-Question: What first step grounds this path into daily practice right now?
- Answer: Begin with the small deaths — surrender control, release overwhelm, trust the flow. Each step of letting go clears space for rebirth. The path of healing is not a leap but a cycle: death, release, rebirth, again and again.
