Diary Reflection
It felt like one of those in-between days. Not a clear, single focus — and yet, somehow, the macro project continues to build itself through the micro steps.
I finished as much as I could on the community circle for the course — this space where participants can ask questions and feel connected, not alone as they go through this experience. But of course, now it needs to be integrated back into the course videos so people know it exists. Which means more editing. Things evolve. And yes, it’s clear that a full reshoot would make everything more seamless — but for now, it’s about getting it live. Making sure it’s all there. Doing the best I can with what I’ve got.
I chipped away. I polished. I kept going.
Later in the morning, I was groggy—tired from the night before — but I lay down, did some breathwork, and let myself nap. When I woke, the world was less heavy.
I began working on the New Earth trailer — a bigger project than I expected, but also one that feels alive. I shot footage. Then I worked out. As I was finishing I got a call from Skip, an old friend now in Bali. He shared how he healed a shattered leg in six weeks — something the doctors said would take five months. He now runs programs helping others heal their lives. We’ve known each other a long time. It was nice to reconnect, to feel his high energy, his faith in what’s possible.
I went to Animals to work and received a voice message from two dear friends in South Africa. These are the very people who originally inspired this cleanse journey — one of whom, a very special woman who once held healing space across Europe, had fallen severely ill. They told me she barely made it through. She’s now back resting, and it left me emotional.
I know the form is impermanent. I know energy never dies. But the part of me still attached to that form — maybe still holding onto grief from my mum passing when I was nine — felt something stir. Loss, abandonment, sadness. I messaged them back. And it stirred a deep desire to be with them, learn from them, and absorb what I can to infuse this cleanse path with their wisdom. So it can reach many without draining the few. To make something sacred more sustainable.
It gave me new fuel to keep going with the trailer.
Later, Penn and I spoke. She opened up about something big she’s got coming up — a November event that will put her on stage. We talked about presence, vulnerability, truth. About the power of naming the thing rather than suppressing it. Once we share it, we’re not victims to it anymore. That’s what being human is — not bypassing it, but being with it.
Then I went back into editing. Short trailer. Big message. More work. Another project within a project. But I believe in it.
By the end of the night, I felt at peace. I gave up the fight with the ants — they’re here, so be it. This isn’t forever. I’m building something. I did my meditation. And I noticed how nice it was to not feel burdened by tasks right before bed. Just soft, present stillness.
I’ll aim to shift breathwork earlier in the day from now on — not to stack so much at the end when my willpower’s lowest.
Reflections
🛡 Where did I hold my boundary?
I didn’t let the size of the project overwhelm me. I stayed the course — trailer, community, editing — even when I could’ve spiraled into “too much.” I chose to take breaks when needed, to nap instead of push, to work when it mattered most.
🌱 What energy or intention did I move forward, no matter how small?
The trailer. The community circle. The deeper purpose behind the cleanse. Even in grief, I kept going. I brought the invisible intention — connection, accessibility, truth — into visible action.
🌀 What didn’t need fixing?
The grief. The emotion stirred by South Africa. The grogginess in the morning. None of it needed to be solved — just witnessed. Just allowed to move through.
✨ What surprised me today?
The depth of emotion that surfaced around her illness. The way it cracked something open in me. And how that pain became a deeper devotion — a fire to keep creating.
🤲 What did I offer or receive in service today?
I offered my heart — in the trailer, to Penn, to my South African friends. I offered reflection and presence. I received clarity, connection, and a sense of shared purpose with those who also walk this path.
👁 What did I witness within myself or another today?
I witnessed my own devotion — not performance, but presence. I saw what this all means. That this work is not just for me. And even when tired, even in grief, I’m still here. Still showing up. Still transmitting something real.
