The Barking and the Restlessness
Last night was restless. A neighbor’s dog barked at the lake for nearly ten minutes while its owner stood by. At 11:30 p.m., exhaustion turned to frustration. I banged on the window, then finally shouted into the night. Not my proudest response — but sometimes stress cracks the surface.
Sleep didn’t come easy. My body reacted with a longing to escape, even through sex. Dreams blurred, but I woke climaxing, unsettled, showered, and lay back down. The night left me drained, caught between restlessness and release.
Morning Practices
By 6:30 I rose, steadying myself in discipline. The new Kriya breathing practice carried me into alignment. A special morning drink followed, then squats and sacred readings: the Bhagavad Gita and the New Testament.
The texts, old yet alive, reminded me: discipline is the spine that holds when emotions scatter.
Tasks and Flow
I continued vlogging — showing up even without clarity of where it’s all heading. Today I aim to write two prayers for the book, finish packing, and take care of errands.
It’s Sunday, a day to ease the pace. Tomorrow morning I leave, so today I prepare: final touches on the Airbnb push, a few last loops to close. Whatever circles in my mind, I’ll bring into completion.
Reflections on Connection
The thought lingers of messaging Maya — simply to say I’m coming to town. Fear hovers, about how it will be received, whether the children will want to see me. But truth is better than silence. I’d rather face what is, than remain in the illusion of control.
This, too, is the practice of the New Earth: making space within by facing what is without.
Closing Note
The night was restless, the body unsettled. But the morning brought breath, scripture, and structure. Today is for small completions, gentle tasks, and trust.
Departure nears. The New Earth calls not from comfort, but from the clarity of truth, trust, and discipline — even after restless nights.
—Tarot Pull—
1. Ten of Cups – The Glue of My Path
- Main Question: What is the “glue” that naturally draws people to my work and holds the New Earth offering together?
- Sub-Question: How do I recognize and trust the unique entry point that makes others want to walk deeper with me?
Answer: The Ten of Cups shows your glue is not just a single technique — it’s the wholeness people feel in your presence. It’s the sense of belonging, harmony, and “home” that emerges when you guide them through cleanses, breathing, or retreats. Your offering weaves family, healing, and spiritual renewal. Trust that the glue is your ability to create sacred community and wholeness, not just a product or skill.
2. The Lovers – Boundaries and Receiving
- Main Question: How do I navigate the balance between service, friendship, and clear boundaries in my collaborations?
- Sub-Question: What must I learn about receiving without overcompensating, so that exchange stays in truth and not in fear of abandonment?
Answer: The Lovers calls you to clarity and choice. Boundaries are not separation — they’re conscious agreements rooted in love. To receive without guilt, you must stand in alignment: say “yes” when it’s true, “no” when it protects your energy. The card reminds you that authentic love and collaboration flourish only when rooted in honesty. Receiving becomes easier when you remember: you are not loved for what you give, but for who you are.
3. Five of Wands – Illusions of Certainty
- Main Question: What does the Old Earth illusion of certainty still hold over me?
- Sub-Question: How do I release the heaviness of financial uncertainty without collapsing into scarcity?
Answer: The Five of Wands reflects the inner conflict and struggle of money and security. The illusion of certainty keeps you wrestling with shadows, comparing, fighting for ground that shifts anyway. True release comes when you see uncertainty not as an enemy but as a field of practice. Every “battle” with scarcity is a chance to strengthen sovereignty. The lesson: don’t waste energy wrestling with illusion — instead, direct it into creative momentum.
4. Justice – Restlessness and Reaction
- Main Question: What is the deeper root behind my restless nights and emotional reactions when stress cracks through?
- Sub-Question: How can I transform these raw impulses into fuel for awareness instead of cycles of escape?
Answer: Justice reveals the root: imbalance between inner truth and outer expression. Restlessness rises when you suppress emotions or feel something unfair/unspoken is unresolved. Justice asks you to see clearly and act truthfully. Each outburst or restless night is a mirror showing where alignment has slipped. By naming truth and choosing fair action, restlessness becomes clarity. Raw impulse transforms when it is brought into the light of honesty.
5. Temperance – Sacred Discipline
- Main Question: How do my daily practices (breathing, scripture, routines) hold me steady in moments of uncertainty and scattering?
- Sub-Question: Where am I invited to deepen discipline without becoming rigid or self-punishing?
Answer: Temperance shows your practices are the alchemy of balance. Breathing, scripture, and morning rituals keep the extremes in harmony, mixing spirit with body. Yet it warns: don’t turn them into harsh rules. Let them remain a gentle rhythm, not chains. Discipline becomes sacred when it feels like flow, not force. Deepening now means weaving grace into structure — consistency, but with compassion.
6. Four of Pentacles Reversed – Preparation and Letting Go
- Main Question: What is the wisdom hidden in the act of packing, releasing, and preparing for departure?
- Sub-Question: How do I discern what is truly needed to carry forward, both physically and energetically, and what must be left behind?
Answer: The reversal speaks of loosening the grip. The wisdom is in surrender — releasing attachment to possessions, routines, even relationships that no longer serve. Packing becomes a ritual of discernment: what is truly essential for the journey? This card invites you to travel lighter, inside and out. By letting go, you create room for new abundance and flow.
7. Ten of Wands – Truth in Connection
- Main Question: What is the deeper truth in my desire to reach out — to Maya, to others — before moving on?
- Sub-Question: How can I express love and truth without attachment to outcome, creating space for New Earth within me?
Answer: The Ten of Wands shows the weight of unspoken truths and emotional burdens you still carry. The desire to reach out is a longing to set down the load. The truth is: love must be expressed, but not clung to. When you share from the heart — without expectation — you free yourself. The New Earth within you is born not through holding, but through laying down the heaviness and walking lighter.
✨ This spread tells a story: Your path is glue through wholeness and community (10 of Cups), protected by honest choices and boundaries (Lovers), tested by scarcity battles (5 of Wands), refined through truth and balance (Justice), and sustained by graceful discipline (Temperance). Letting go (4 of Pentacles reversed) frees your hands, and expressing love (10 of Wands) lightens your heart.
