A Day of Heaviness
The 2nd of September carried a weight. I set my routines — the gym, a few work messages about the Sacred Store and the website — but underneath, I felt lost, unsure how to move through the hours.
Even small tasks carried their own burden. A simple breakfast shop cost more than expected. At Emirates Islamic Bank, I spoke with a kind man from Egypt who promised to send an email on my behalf. The bureaucracy felt endless — money locked away, accounts to close, flights to arrange. All unnecessary logistics that pulled me from presence.
Echoes of Relationships
Heaviness also came in silence. Maya did not reply, and I realized she may never message again. That ship has sailed. My eldest son reached out — wanting to see me — but the youngest did not. I understood. The heart notices absence more than presence, lack more than love at hand. It was a reminder: where my focus goes shows me where I have yet to grow.
Flickers of Connection
I met Adam — the genie — at his shangri-la, bringing him a Buddha and masala tea in gratitude. Last time I was here, he used his points to put me up for ten days. We spoke of SHM and the unfolding journey. His kindness reminded me of the allies who appear, even in transitional spaces.
Later, I went out to dinner with my host. The restaurant echoed old memories, the life I once lived in Dubai — a world both familiar and far away.
Dissolving Identity
Returning home, I sat in meditation. Fatigue lingered, but deeper still was the awareness that I am navigating the dissolving of a whole existence, a whole identity.
To uncover the New Earth within is not a path of ease. It is one of letting go — of relationships, routines, comforts, and illusions of permanence.
Closing Reflection
On this day, I saw more clearly: everything I thought defined me is fading. The Old Earth is dissolving. SHM, the divine spark, is what remains — a light to carry through the heaviness.
