I began the morning with Kriya breathing — something I’ve come to enjoy. The teacher feels grounded, present. Afterward, I returned home and moved through a light Shaun T cardio session. Nothing intense, just a steady flow.
Then the void.
I knew I had the YENERGY video to work on, the niacin activation practice. But the inspiration wasn’t there. I wasn’t going to force it. I had a spine session booked — supposedly with a “master.”
So I went.
They began with manipulation — laying me on the ground, pulling and adjusting my legs. Then he sat me in a chair and cracked my neck so fiercely I genuinely thought he might tear my head off. It was intense.
I lay down again. One man massaged me while the “master” returned to perform what he called “energetic surgery.” Pressure points, channel openings, deep tissue manipulation — agonizing and euphoric in turns. Midway through, he told me that if my postural spine had been treated before age 20, I’d be fine — but now it’s “set.”
And just like that, he placed a limitation on me.
I heard him, but inside I thought: No.
That’s his belief. A projection from his own past, his own accident. I don’t carry that story. It was a red flag. But I stayed, curious to see what else would unfold.
Afterward, I felt light, open — especially around the neck. He suggested we could go deeper in the future. Then, as we sat, he casually began dismissing what I built. Claimed his own “superior” parasite cleanse using coconut milk for ten days… and venom from a yellow scorpion. I just nodded. I was genuinely intrigued.
No awareness of what I’ve lived, practiced, taught. No curiosity. Just ego masquerading as expertise.
It reminded me of a recent edit in the book with Pen — this idea that anyone who calls themselves a “master” has already severed the line to the Divine. True mastery is found in perpetual studenthood.
I didn’t argue. I just witnessed.
As Prophet Muhammad said: Even on the path of truth, what Allah hates most is the quarrelsome.
So I paid — which felt strange. I was told the breathing was free, yet suddenly there was a fee. The whole thing left me confused. Vulnerable. Raw. Especially after what I’d just released.
But clarity came quickly.
Back home, I received a message from someone beginning the cleanse. Anxious. Overwhelmed. Lost in the portal. I realized: we need a simple one-page checklist. Something grounding. So I created it — a quick-glance PDF now included in the welcome email and the portal.
As that happened, I got another message — this time from the South African facilitators I trained with. One of their new participants (referred by me) needed all the program info, and they had nothing to send. So I built a new version of the PDF for them too.
She later messaged me from her warehouse — she’s doing the cleanse now using my program. I told her she didn’t need to — she’s already doing the full retreat next month. But the South African team said, “Great, let her do both.” So we laughed. She already had all the ingredients anyway.
Then the woman who was anxious earlier messaged again — grounded now. Grateful. She shared about doing shrooms recently, swelling in her hips, and a sense that the parasites were rising. Ayahuasca is coming for her next month. The timing? Perfect.
Even the team sent me a Facebook link of someone pulling worms from their stool — a confirmation.
Something’s moving.
Penn called in the midst of it all, sharing something deep from her “toxic bin.” We’re in flow. And Leelee, heading to South Africa, told me: “You’re not just getting on the train anymore — you’re driving it.”
That feels true.
I’m no longer seeking. I’m simply landing.
