Dreams and Rising Early
The night was filled with flashing dreams of the Old Earth. At 5 a.m. I woke, surprisingly alert. Rather than sink into heavy thoughts, I rose and went to the roof.
There, with the first light of day, I practiced Kriya breathing and energy work. When I sat to meditate, something opened. Space within me cleared.
The Higher Self Appears
In that space, my higher self showed up — as if I had stepped into the 40 Days and 40 Nights. A conversation began. Every question I carried, I laid down, and each was answered.
I heard: You needed what you went through. It was already written. Trust the process. It is not meant to feel easy.
I asked, Why do I feel rejected? The reply: Because you allow others to define your value. Look within. You have everything you need. It is already happening.
I said, But I don’t know what to do.
The answer: Then just be. This is what you asked for — to be. When you live in being, you give others permission to do the same. Your being becomes their light.
Renewal in Small Acts
Later, I prepared my enema, but when I saw the old bag — worn, tired — I knew it was time to let it go. I chose not to use it. A quiet ritual of renewal: out with the old, ready for the new in South Africa. Fresh energy, fresh tools, better care.
Closing Old Chapters
At lunch, I met a friend who has been holding my boxes. We prepared to go through them — another task of closure, another chapter of the Old Earth ready to dissolve.
It felt scary. To face it all on my own. But that is what DIE means: Detach. Independent expression. This is the passage.
Trusting the Settling
Though the weight of independence feels immense, I know it is part of the process. Until December, I walk through this state of dissolving. It will settle. I will settle.
For now, I practice being. And being is enough.
—Tarot pull—
1. Heaviness and Presence — 4 of Wands
Q: What is the deeper purpose of the heaviness I am carrying in this passage?
A: The 4 of Wands reveals that heaviness is not punishment but initiation — the weight clears the space for eventual stability, harmony, and celebration. You are carrying the stones to build the foundation of your New Earth, even if the work feels endless now.
Sub-Q: How can I stay rooted in presence when even small tasks feel like a burden?
A: By remembering that each small act contributes to the larger home you are building within and around you. Even bureaucracy and errands are part of the scaffolding of freedom. Anchor presence by seeing the future wholeness that these scattered pieces will one day form.
2. Relationships and Silence — Queen of Swords
Q: What lesson is revealed in the silence of those who no longer respond?
A: The Queen of Swords teaches clarity, boundaries, and truth. Silence reveals where illusions are cut away. The lesson: do not measure your worth by who speaks or who withdraws. The absence itself is a mirror, carving you into discernment and independence.
Sub-Q: How do I shift my focus from absence to the love and connection that remain?
A: The Queen points you toward clear-eyed gratitude. When the heart longs for what is missing, shift perspective deliberately: focus on who stands with you, not who has walked away. Truthful presence is love.
3. Allies Along the Way — 8 of Swords
Q: What role do allies and chance encounters play in my unfolding?
A: The 8 of Swords shows you often feel trapped, alone in logistics and dissolution. Yet allies are proof that the binding is illusion — support is there, but you must lift the blindfold of self-isolation to see it. Allies break the illusion of imprisonment.
Sub-Q: How can I better recognize and receive the support offered, even in transitional spaces?
A: By loosening the grip of independence-as-burden. You are not weak for accepting kindness. Release the story that you must walk blind and bound — open your eyes, and the path is freer than it feels.
4. Dissolving Identity — 6 of Pentacles
Q: What part of my old identity is being asked to dissolve right now?
A: The 6 of Pentacles points to dynamics of giving and receiving — especially imbalance. The part dissolving is your attachment to being in debt to others, or defined by what others give you. True identity isn’t measured by exchange, but by sovereignty.
Sub-Q: What becomes possible when I fully release my attachment to this identity?
A: Reciprocity in its highest form. When no longer tethered to imbalance, you can give and receive in freedom. The New Earth identity is one of shared flow, not owed obligation.
5. Dialogue with the Higher Self — 4 of Swords
Q: What wisdom is my higher self calling me to embody in this season?
A: The 4 of Swords is rest, stillness, and retreat. Your higher self calls you to stop measuring value by output. Silence and being are not laziness; they are sacred recovery. Wisdom is in spaciousness.
Sub-Q: How can I deepen trust in the answers that already live within me?
A: By carving daily sanctuaries of stillness — like your rooftop dawn meditation. In rest, the sword of truth lies by your side. You already hold it. Trust comes through continual quiet dialogue.
6. Renewal and Release — 2 of Wands
Q: What is the symbolic message behind letting go of the old enema bag?
A: The 2 of Wands is vision and new horizons. Letting go of the old vessel is a ritual of expansion: the tools that served you yesterday cannot carry the fire of tomorrow. Renewal is the gateway to new energy.
Sub-Q: How do I better honor and maintain the “new vessels” that carry fresh energy forward?
A: By tending them as sacred extensions of your vision. The 2 of Wands asks you to see every tool — body, practice, relationship — as a container for your light. Honor through care, not neglect.
7. DIE and the Practice of Being — 7 of Wands
Q: How do I embody the DIE process — Detach, Independent expression — with courage?
A: The 7 of Wands is courage itself: standing your ground against pressures and doubts. To embody DIE is to defend your independence not through force, but through unwavering commitment to your path, even if opposed or misunderstood.
Sub-Q: In what ways can simple being become my greatest service and light for others?
A: By holding your position in authenticity. The 7 of Wands shows that your presence is already resistance against conformity. Just by being, you light a torch others can follow. Your being is the service.
