I woke around 1:30 a.m., drifted off again, and then had some wild dreams. Then again at 3 am. I had to check the time as I thought maybe it was time to get up. I woke properly at 5:50 a.m. — In the dream, I was a child again, with my younger brother. He was hiding something, some shame. He had the HSV virus, and I said to him, “It’s okay — I have it too.” We hugged. The shame lifted.
He felt seen. He wasn’t alone anymore.
And he was me — a part of me still carrying shame.
After yesterday’s revelations about SHM, my soul’s purpose, and the deeper remembrance of why I’m really here on Earth… it’s no surprise these layers are surfacing. This is spiritual reflection. This is the work — bringing light to the dark.
I hadn’t yet recorded what I actually did yesterday. It didn’t feel like much, but in truth, it was. I was working behind the scenes on SEO — rewriting the architecture of the site so that The New Earth shows up more clearly, so that people searching for phrases like “What is the New Earth,” “When is the New Earth coming,” or “Who will live on the New Earth” can find us. It was subtle work, but deeply important. A shift in frequency.
I also reached out to an old friend. She’d said she would message me — and didn’t. I called her on it, lovingly. She explained there had been an emergency, that clients were going through things. And yes, I get it. But I also saw how we’re all so quick to defend our excuses. We say one thing and do another, then justify it.
I said to her plainly:
“If you don’t back your word, how do you expect anything to manifest? In the beginning, there was the Word.”
The Word is the seed of creation.
And when we abandon it, we abandon our own power.
I saw clearly how my own fear of abandonment can sometimes silence my truth. The fear that speaking it will trigger people, or cause them to leave. But… that’s how we grow. That’s the whole point. Most don’t want to face their unconscious — the ego acts as a buffer between darkness and light. And when light approaches the dark, the mind resists. It justifies, defends, clings. That’s where parasites live — in the unconscious. Feeding on our suppression.
So when I show up and shine light into those shadows, I won’t always be liked.
And that’s okay.
If I want to stand in my truth, I must accept that.
I had a great session with Pen — we chipped away at the book. One mountain at a time. Eventually, you summit. And then there’s the next one. Where I am now is temporary. A year from now, the book will be complete, the courses will be active, including the Lunar parasite cleanse, the liver cleanse. People will be walking the path. We’ll hold monthly meetings. There will be others guiding too.
It’s all happening. One step at a time.
My fear is running out of money before then.
Everything is donation-based. It’s a leap.
But after remembering SHM, I have to trust.
As Yeshua said, “Why worry about food or clothes? Look at the lilies of the field…”
So I return to that truth.
My back is still a bit tender, but I trust it will be stronger by Monday.
Maybe I’ll resume exercises then. Let’s see.
What do I choose to stand in?
My truth. It’s who I am.
What do I choose to let go of?
The fear of abandonment. The illusion that anything out there can abandon me.
Because I cannot abandon myself.
And God will not abandon me.
So I remain.
In power.
In light.
In service.
Tarot spread
1. What does it mean to speak truth even when it’s inconvenient — or uncomfortable?
When fear of abandonment arises, can I still honour my word? Can I stay rooted in truth even if it ruffles feathers?
→ Card: King of Wands
True leadership isn’t about timing — it’s about alignment.
The King speaks with conviction not because it’s easy, but because it’s needed.
You are being asked to claim your role as a torchbearer.
Not loud, not forceful — just true.
You know when the words are ready. Speak them, even if they tremble.
2. Where do I still negotiate my power to be liked, accepted, or safe?
What story says I must shrink in order to belong? And am I finally ready to rewrite that contract?
→ Card: 8 of Swords
The prison is not real — but the belief is.
You still dim parts of yourself to avoid conflict, rejection, loss.
But the only thing truly at risk is the illusion.
This card asks: Are you ready to set yourself free?
No one else is holding the ropes. Only you.
3. What part of me still believes I must be abandoned to stand in truth?
Am I ready to risk being misunderstood in order to be fully seen?
→ Card: 5 of Wands
There’s been inner conflict — parts of you pushing and pulling.
A younger part still fears that truth leads to isolation.
But the friction isn’t rejection — it’s refinement.
This chaos is clearing space for clarity.
Don’t abandon yourself now.
4. What is SHM awakening in me now — and how do I carry its frequency?
If SHM is the divine spark, how does it want to move through me today?
→ Card: The Empress
SHM is not a memory. It is a womb — a pulse of creative light.
The Empress calls you to embody this frequency:
To birth soul-led systems. To nourish. To midwife truth into form.
SHM lives in your body, your work, your voice.
You are the temple now. Tend it.
5. Where am I being asked to hold others accountable — without rescuing or defending them?
What does real compassion look like — when I no longer compromise my truth to protect someone else’s comfort?
→ Card: 6 of Wands
You are being seen. Not for perfection, but for integrity.
This card reminds you: leadership is earned through embodiment.
Call others forward not by fixing, but by reflecting.
Hold your ground. Show the way.
Let your walk be the invitation.
6. How does my old pain now serve as sacred architecture for The New Earth?
What parts of my story no longer need to be hidden — because they’ve become the bridge?
→ Card: 7 of Cups
The pain offered many stories — but only some were real.
You’re now discerning what was illusion, what was medicine.
This card says: don’t get lost in the options.
Choose the memory that empowers.
Let your pain be transmuted into prophecy.
7. What does it truly mean to bring light to the dark — in myself and others?
Am I willing to face the unconscious — and stay, even when it’s uncomfortable?
→ Card: 3 of Wands
It means trusting the vision enough to walk toward it.
Even when the land is still far, the soul sees.
You’re not bringing light to the dark —
You are realising the dark was part of the light all along.
Keep walking. The New Earth rises through your steps.
