Restless Nights, Sacred Routines, and Preparing the Departure
The Barking and the RestlessnessLast night was restless. A neighbor’s dog barked at the lake for nearly ten minutes while its owner stood by. At 11:30 p.m., exhaustion turned to frustration. I banged on the window, then finally shouted into the night. Not my proudest response — but sometimes stress cracks the surface. Sleep didn’t […]
Heaviness, Glue, and Learning to Receive 30th August Journal (written 31st Aug morning)
Structuring and UncertaintyThe morning was spent looking at how to shape the website and guides for retreats — the flow that will welcome people into the New Earth journey. I reached out to Annalie, asking what she might want as a guide and how she could contribute. She wanted to be paid, but neither of […]
Tears, Release, and Making Space for the New Earth Tarot pull based on yesterday and today’s morning reflection (30th Aug)
Dreams of LongingThe night carried vivid dreams. Again and again, I returned to Maya. Each time I closed my eyes, I found myself coming to her in tears, unable to express what lived inside me. I only wanted to be held. Her pain showed itself too — her teeth missing, her own struggles laid bare. […]
Packing, Feminine Company, and the Practice of Sovereignty 29th August Journal (written 30th Aug morning)
Breath and BeginningsThe morning began with breathing. I met with Nacir and Margot, shared a chat, and joined them for breakfast — then went home for my matcha and eggs, simple and grounding. It gave me a sense of ease before stepping back into the demands of the day. Much of my energy has been […]
Looking at Suffering, Practicing Freedom, and the Smile of SHM (Tarot pull baseed on yesterday and this mornings reflection 29th August)
Morning Thoughts and SufferingI woke around 5:30 a.m. with looping thoughts, circling money concerns. I tried to rest again, but the light was rising and I knew I had to get up. Meditation came first. Like Buddha teaches: look directly at the suffering. What is its root? I looked at money, the Old Earth weight, […]
Scarcity, Service, and the Eye of the Needle 28th Journal (written 29th Aug morning)
Heavy Energy of MoneyToday felt like a struggle. The Old Earth weight of finances pressed on me. I tried to sort through accounts, only to realize the bank had delayed my request until August 6th — meaning 45 days from then. The release date now sits exactly when my visa ends. Fear rose: are they […]
Tears, Illusions, and Trusting the Stripping of Pluto – Another day uncovering The New Earth Within – Tarot pull (27th Journal and 28th Aug morning reflection)
—28th August morning reflection— The Heavy MorningI woke heavy today. Thoughts leaping, tears rising. My lower back still twinges. I journaled through tears — speaking loss into being. I had such an opportunity once: a family, a community. I couldn’t fully appreciate it, and now it’s gone. The grief comes in waves. Sometimes I handle […]
Porcupine Needles, Vulnerability, and the Weight of Preparation 27th August Journal
Bodywork and Primal ReactionsThe morning began at the Bhakti Yoga retreat with breathing, followed by an hour of deep massage — more like initiation through pain. It felt as though a porcupine needle rose from the base of my spine, sparking a serpent-like reaction from my mouth. My nervous system responded primally, as if something […]
Dreams, Illusions, and the Letting Go of Legacy August 27th Journal
Dreams of Pursuit and ChaosThe night carried wild dreams. I was in a water pistol fight with people from the Old Earth, chasing and losing what I had just found. Rooms turned eerie, protectors turned pursuers, and even planes became stages of sabotage and collapse. Death, survival, déjà vu — all tangled together. These dreams […]
Chaos, Sacred Work, and the Flow of Integrity 26th August Journal
The Morning RushThe day began in a hurry. I was behind schedule, rushing to breathing practice. Just as I pressed forward, the universe slowed me — a train crossing, traffic blocked by police, even someone laid out on the road. Chaos all around. Rather than sit still, I darted through and carried on, only a […]