I didn’t feel the same pressure or rush today. I allowed myself to surrender more fully to the moment. I worked on the trailer and the book edits, but without force. Just doing the work because it felt like it was time — not because I had to race toward an end.
Amar told me he might take another job, then asked for a full-time salary. I did the maths. If I was going to pay him to come three times a week, the amount wasn’t far off from what he was asking to come daily. So I agreed. That means I now have someone to keep the space clean, so I can focus more on the work I’m here to offer.
We also had people come and fill the holes where the ants and cockroaches were nesting. For now, the ant issue seems to be resolved. I’m feeling a little more at peace in the space. It’s not forever, but it’s holding me as I build.
It’s funny how, sometimes, I feel like there’s nothing to do — but really, there’s so much. I think my mind says that as a coping strategy. The amount of energy it’s taken to lift all of this, to build what’s coming — it’s been immense. But I’m learning to ride the energy rather than burn out from it.
I stayed in all day, did my workout, then had a long string of calls. First with Shade, going through the PDFs. Then the team meeting — and it began with us sharing our vulnerabilities. It grounded us all. I shared about Sri Lanka, the initiations, the testing. They all opened up. Penn shared how things have opened up for her since starting the course — that sense of emptying out, making space for the divine. It was real. It was beautiful.
After this part, I also had a call with Penn.
We caught up — she was asking lots of questions about the book and just said, “Keep going through it, and when you’re ready, meet me at the beginning.”
At first, I didn’t fully grasp what she meant. I thought she meant finish the book, then meet her at the beginning. But really, it was: when you’re ready to do the work, meet me there. Let’s go.
And at the same time, keep reading ahead. So — walk forward, but keep circling back. I said, “Ah. I see. Okay.
I’m ready now.”
So we agreed — tomorrow, we begin. Start at the beginning and go through each part together.
I also realized I have a lot more journal entries saved in penzu that I need to pull into the book. I’ll create a separate page for those, compare what’s already been used, and begin weaving the rest in.
More work. But it’s service. Divine service. And I’m grateful for it.
Before we wrapped, I did a tarot pull for her — it was spot on, completely aligned with what she has coming up.
But I was absolutely exhausted by then. I still hadn’t had a proper kip, and it was creeping up on the time I needed to leave. When I’m tired, I struggle.
The moment we hung up, I laid down, did some breathing, and knocked out for 10 minutes — the kind of sleep where you snore. Deep. Restorative.
And when I got up, I felt completely re-energized and made myself some pancakes. Mung bean and blueberry. Delicious.
Later, I was invited out by my friends from Hu Temple. We met at Coco before heading to a local club, “Tricks or Tracks.” There was that familiar rush at the door about 8:30pm — entry fees starting, the old nightclub rhythm I used to know well. One of the guys, Alex, wasn’t allowed in because of his vest. I had a spare t-shirt with me — one of my favorites — and gave it to him so he could get in.
Inside, I ended up in deep conversation with his girlfriend. One thing led to another, and the New Earth just poured out of me. I was speaking it — not just about it. It lit something up. She reflected it back beautifully, and he listened intently. He even registered for the offering right there on his phone. Something moved. I could feel it.
Alex had done Vipassana. He shared stories of being homeless, hungry, and stumbling into a retreat that ended up shifting his life. It was a sacred exchange — real, grounded, human.
Before I left as it was way past my bedtime (10.30 pm), we wandered into the art room and saw a piece of the Last Supper carved into ancient wood from a Sri Lankan church. Eight thousand dollars. I considered it. Maybe one day — when it’s time.
On the way out, Peg gently mentioned that I had been talking a lot about myself. It touched an old place — the fear of being too much, too intense, too “me.” I could feel the doubt creep in, but I also knew: it wasn’t just about me. It was about the vision, the offering, the New Earth. Still, I thanked everyone, hugged them, and left.
I zoomed home on the bike, brought the laundry in, and meditated. No alarm for tomorrow. I told myself: sleep as long as you need. There’s still a lot to do. But there always is.
🛡 Where did I hold my boundary?
I said yes to surrender. I said no to panic. I said yes to showing up, even when the energy was low. I gave my shirt, but didn’t give away my self.
🌱 What energy or intention did I move forward, no matter how small?
The edits, the trailer, the meeting, the message — I stayed with it. And I planted seeds through real human connection.
🌀 What didn’t need fixing?
Peg’s comment. The doubts it stirred. The ants. The tiredness. I didn’t have to fix them. Just let them pass.
✨ What surprised me today?
How naturally the New Earth flowed from me. How it lit up a room. How quickly it found resonance. I’m not “trying” anymore — I’m simply becoming.
🤲 What did I offer or receive in service today?
I offered my presence, my words, my shirt, my story. I received reflection, registration, and the reminder that this work matters.
👁 What did I witness within myself or another today?
I saw my own depth reflected in strangers. I saw the power of storytelling when it’s aligned. I witnessed the divine working through it all — even in a bar in Sri Lanka.
